I believe I am in the midst of a brief lapse of insanity...seriously? Well I have no better name for it. My world is settled around me for the most part. Things that have consumed my mind in the past year are better than we all could have hoped. I have a beautiful son, and wonderful husband, and I could go on and on!! Believe me I know all of these things are precious and I think is what has gotten me into my predicament. I want things that I know my husband doesn't...well I guess that is not fair. He doesn't know that I want these things and it isn't so much different from his point of view...it is just in a different order. I keep thinking I will talk to him and I have no excuse other than I just can't bring it up. Which leads me to another subject why am I such a coward...why can't I voice my opinion confidently when it comes to my life. I never have been a very confident person, but my world lends itself to my confidence I just don't give it. I hate change and I especially hate being the deciding factor when it comes to change, but then again you only live once. I don't know what to do...let me rephrase I know what to do I just don't have it in me at this time! For some reason I have been content living with the what will be will be and I welcome the put it in gods hands its there anyway, but it has not been settling to me tonight.
Shannon, I know you are going to read this and I'm sorry to post this, but at the time it was my out...I thought maybe it would make me feel better. What I realize now is when you just type your thoughts you never know what might come out!
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